Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
