I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
