Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
