We won't sleep together?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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