apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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