Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
