I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
