And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
