i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
