TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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