They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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