is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
