There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
