Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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