When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
