so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
