quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
