Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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