You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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