I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
