well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
