Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So many bounce houses so little time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
