The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
