hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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