So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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