I look better un-naked...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
