so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you had me at cake vodka
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
