wat bout pragnant strippers??
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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