you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
