I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
