Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize