did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
