Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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