after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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