Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
