I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
