I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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