I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Randomize
