That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
