He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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