I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
