i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
