god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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