Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
