I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
