remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
