Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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