Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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