Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize