We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
