How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
