There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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