I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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