i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
