the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
