I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
