found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
