She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
