college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
