Me too!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My vagina is officially offended.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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