i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
